I’m Selna Kim – America’s Face of Dating and what I’m about to share with you is very dark and it’s very powerful. If you decide to use it then you are a messed up human being. But I like you for that. You are about to walk with me down a path that most cannot handle, so if you have it in you then I will see you right after the intro.
So, the dark side. Walk with me down this path if you wish. This is some serious shit; this is a warning, you could easily use this for bad things. You can also use it for really good things, but you can use it in very manipulative bad way.
Side note, I had a girl in my dm’s on Instagram yesterday who didn’t like what I had to say about attraction and dating psychology. I’ll show you a screen shot of the post and some content from my book. But basically, it was me giving a technique to people to use to come off as higher value in a conversation to make the other person chase.
BUT she slid up, and I had my account manager handle it for me with a simple read and no reply. Anyways, she slid up and proceeded to call me manipulative, that it’s embarrassing for me to try to manipulate people to get what I want, shame on me, and that I’m a harmful human being.
What she didn’t realize was that manipulation is always going on between two people. Whoever says that it’s not isn’t living in reality. Manipulation is defined as ‘control or influence someone’s behavior usually unfairly. Or to sway someone’s emotions in order to get them to act and feel a certain way.” Which is hilarious to me because I don’t deny that everyone manipulates to some degree, and her coming in my dm’s and telling me that I’m manipulative and giving me the shame on you treatment, is by definition manipulative. Because she’s attempting to shame me into acting the way that she believes I should act.
It’s like the mother who influences their child’s behavior by the typical, “I’m so disappointed in you.” And it makes the child shamed into changing their behavior because they feel bad for doing wrong to mommy. But I can totally tell that this hater in my dm’s is out for the good of society and I can especially tell from her bio that reads, “Kill all men and eat the rich.”
Which I’m not a doctor but there’s some disturbing psychology going on there.
Anyways it’s good to learn manipulation so you can protect yourself and know when it’s being used against you, but also how to use it to attract the things into your life that you want more of. You can manipulate people into working out so they become healthier. Is that a good thing? Yes. You can manipulate people into changing negative beliefs that set them back from success. And of course you can manipulate to bring more of what you want into your life. So let’s talk about ways to help you get what you want, but I’m trusting you to use this for good.
1. Identity Framing
There’s a lot of dating guru’s on youtube or wherever that have tried to talk about dark tactics to make her love you or obsessed with you and most of the time they came up with things like, “If you text her every morning then take one day to not text her and this will be bothering her the entire day.” There’s classes of techniques and especially youtubers. In Japanese culture there’s S – Rank which means like only the God level handle S rank stuff, A is really good, then B, C, and D are basically useless. When coaches tell you don’t text her in the morning or any of that, it’s okay, it’s average like B, C rank. Or when a coach tells you to just have confidence, I’m like what the fuck does that even mean. You can’t even spell the word confidence. What I’m talking about is stuff in the S rank. The things that have been scientifically proven and field-tested hundreds of times, but also secrets that are so powerful the world tries to hide it from you.
The first Dark Psychological Tactic that I want to share is called the IF.
When I was in high school, I had like 3 different groups I hung out with. But in each of these groups there are certain roles. Around my family I was more of the alpha male, the leader. In one group I was quiet and shy most of the time. Then in another group I was the funny one. When I was in these groups, it was like a switch. I automatically became this person or this role. I couldn’t figure out why certain parts of me came out and it’s because of perception and manipulation.
i.e another role that is common in groups is that one person that gets shat on and made fun of usually. Let’s say you’re that guy, and then you randomly try to switch and be the alpha of that group. The group usually makes fun of and puts that behavior down. That’s because everyone around you is perceiving you to play that certain role. So when you try to act out of that role then they shit on you, and give you negative feedback in order to make you revert back to their normal perception of who you are. So, you go right back to being the quiet guy or the guy that says stupid things and gets made fun of.
It’s because when someone likes us a certain way then we have this desire to be consistent with that even if it’s bad. So, we have this desire to please those around us. When everyone expects you to be the dummy then you try to be the man, the brain knows everyone expects you to be the person who gets made fun of, and when you try to be the man then the brain will block it off and not give you the words or attitude.
The only way to change that is to become consciously aware of that and practice it consistently in that group until it becomes unconscious and then they accept you as the man.
That’s why it’s so hard for people to actually go pursue their passion, like me writing a dating book because a lot of people had this perception of me that I was this nice kid who couldn’t hurt a fly so when I come out with this explicit book about how to become so attractive that you literally have pussy flying at your face like you just attacked a beehive then they didn’t like that change in perception and tried to shun me back into the ways I acted before.
But here’s how to use it to make her fall in love. Since we want to stay consistent with how people perceive us
i.e. let’s say your wife or girlfriend is getting over weight, and you want to get her back into shape. You don’t say, “Damn you’re getting fat.” But instead, you say, “I think it’s so fucking sexy when you workout and you wear those bright colored pants and come home all sweaty from the gym. Like you know what it does to me, it makes me want to rip your clothes off and make love to you right there on the table. So, please don’t. Stop it. You know what that does to me.”
She now is subconsciously aware that my perception of her is that I think she looks fucking hot when she looks like this. It pleases me to see her do this so she is more likely to do it now.
i.e. I love the way that you support all of my content and engage on all of my posts beucase most people wouldn’t ever be that supportive, but you are such a great teammate.
(Put frame on her that she’s this which menas it pleases you so she’s more likely to do that.)
i.e. I love that you are very adventurous and spontaneous, if you want to get her alone or you want to go fuck her in the bathroom. – then later you pull her away and she’s more likely to go because she just agreed she was adventurous.
If you want her to be loyal to you. Say you love how she literally slaps guys away when they try.
Boom now she will always do that.
Get creative with this because you can start building this into your relationships and really build your girl into your ideal lover.
2. Barriers
I know people have abused the Romeo and Juliet metaphors for dating, but they haven’t looked at it in this light yet. There was a simple idea that made Romeo and Juliet become obsessed over each other to the point where they killed themselves. That idea is the barrier.
In Romeo and Juliet, the families hated each other over some age-old bloodshed. Basically it was forbidden for Romeo and Juliet to date or to love each other because the families hated each other. So, when Juliet tells the father that she loves someone from that family, they are like “oh no way in hell that’s happening.”
That right there is the barrier. If the families just let Romeo and Juliet be together, have sex, and do whatever they had to do then they probably would’ve taken the course of most people’s relationships. Gotten bored with each other and went their separate ways. But the fact that the family said they can’t made them want each other even more.
It’s natural human psychology. People are consistent with chasing after obsessing over what they can never have. That’s what you need to use against your targets mind to make them fall for you.
You need to create some reason for why you two could never be together.
i.e. you’re at the bar and she clearly wants you, but you say, “I want you (pause) but I just can’t. That guy over there keeps checking you out and I couldn’t do that to him. C’mon I have to introduce you to him like now.” Pick out some really ugly guy in the club.
When you say, “I want you, but we can’t” suddenly she’s like, “Oh we can and we will.”
I’ve seen this probably hundreds of times. When a girl will talk about how sexual guys are and how all they want is sex, but then later that night, after heated conversation and she’s turned on, you go, “You are making it so hard for me. Stop looking at me like that. Like it’s not going to work. I’ll admit I’m hanging by a string, I want to take you and make out with you passionately right now, but you won’t make me. I know what you’re trying to do.”
And then she’s throwing herself on to you to prove you wrong.
Act like it’s so painful too right. Lol
Then after you finally kissed her and made out, you stop and pull away. “God girls just want one thing.”
I’ve had times where girls have child locked me in a car from this and said I can’t leave until they get at least a kiss they say. Which is definitely not illegal or anything, but legal is the last thing on your mind when you’re turned on.
Did you know blow jobs are illegal in some states including Indiana. I’m like what beta male who gets no ass made that rule? Like anybody actually obeys that.
Anyways, last one.
3. Vision
I’m not talking about normal dating coaches where they say have a mission, have a life, and be confident. They are like, “I don’t know what that means but I just heard it from someone else and it makes me sound cool.”
A vision and a mission are important for your life, it’s a necessity okay. But it’s thrown around so much like a street girl that it’s virtually useless.
I’m talking about putting a vision in her head.
Attraction grows when she thinks about you = image of you two in her head + emotion that comes with that
If you want her to become obsessed with you then you need to be what she sees in her head when she closes her eyes. You can also create a vision in her head when you two are in person.
i.e. God if we had kids together they would literally rule the world and be the hottest kids ever.
Of course do this after building rapport with her. When you’re having deep conversation one on one.
But then take it away. Clearly they’d have my eyes, or “I’d have to be the tough one on them because I can tell you wouldn’t be able to discipline them.” – Create drama and banter because she’ll want to argue these points most likely.
Or create a vision of you two traveling the world together.
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